Monthly Archives: November 2010
Perfection With a Dash of Impatience
It is an odd thing to realize something unusual about my character and personality, I am a perfectionist who is partially extremely impatient. I find it hysterical that I have a mix of needing things to be just so, that is perfect, while being unable to be patient with things. Take for example when I go to a place to paint paint-it-yourself pottery, I am all ready to paint something beautiful and fancy, but then get to the actual painting and just want to get it done, all the while wanting it to look as nice spectacular as the displayed items in the studio. I race through for the most part and then get results that most would think are probably passable for decent, and think, never again, this looks like a child did it. I try to overcome this, but find it hard to say, take your time and do it well, no, I want to do it well without time or effort. I like to be good at things for sure, but never wanting to actually have to be slow and methodical about it. Why I end up stressing myself about all this is a mystery, it is not like I am really ever being judged more harshly by anyone but myself and my own perfectionist mentality. It is truly an exhausting mind I have, but I suppose there is worse. I find carefree and lackadaisical to be rather frustrating to cope with in others. I suppose Type A and Type B are meant to balance out each other in this world :0)
K
Fall Back
On Sunday clocks rolled back as they do every year to end Daylight Savings Time, or Fall Back which is the easier way to remember what exactly we do with the clocks every year. It really got me thinking about how fast time seems to fly by the older I am getting. It seemed as a kid time stood still and all I did was wait for it to move. Time between birthdays was sooooooo long and tortured me to no end, and now I cherish the time between each year; waiting for summer vacation, don’t get me started on that excruciating pain. It seems unfair as a kid I noticed the passing of time is such an acute way that things never seemed to move fast enough and now as an adult things are whizzing by and time just keeps going and going and it feels like before I know it another year has gone by. Possibly because as adults we get so caught up in so many responsibilities we can’t notice something as mundane as the passing of time except when it is gone, but as a kid we have the sense to notice it and take it in and always remain aware. It just seems interesting that as a kid the passage of time tortures us and we can’t wait to get it to move, but as an adult we blink and realize it is gone and want it back. On the other hand it makes sense, kids are less aware of the fleeting nature of time and don’t see the possibility of its end, as an adult you do see that finality and get that shock with each milestone along the way as more mile markers get ticked off. This makes me realize that carpe diem might not be so bad every once in a while, just that chance to grab something and hold on with all I have so I won’t get dragged along without some sort of real proof I was there. I guess thinking about where it all leads can be daunting and scary. I have a friend with a posted quote online about how could we lie in our graves dreaming about what we could have been, well, very true indeed, although I don’t think my reason for seeing something in that is the same as hers. Inevitably I guess the clock runs out, how one gets to the end is up to them, and what they choose to think happens after that last tick as well. I know what I think, and guess all the steps I take are leading me to that and being aware of that every so often isn’t such a bad thing. Growing up and having life move along is a good thing, scary for sure, but a must. So as I changed the clocks again this year, I suppose a lot went through my mind about time and its meaning, isn’t that grand :0)
K