As I read I am continually struck by how literary heroes I encounter in novels do nothing to make accepting the realities of what (or whom) is actually out there any easier. Elizabeth Bennett encounters the arrogant and off-putting Darcy, only to come to find him to be really not so bad as the novel concludes, and women to this day seem to swoon over the guy. This has set up countless women to think they can actually experience a similar lovely metamorphosis in that boorish man-child they just met. Sadly, it is not to be so. While in kindergarten it was pulling pigtails and telling saying we have cooties, as adults it is the not calling but letting us think you were interested in us because they are not man enough to say at the end of the date, “yeah, let’s not do this again, sorry.” I guess despite Darcy, or any other bookish girls fantasy man, the sad fact is, they are a fantasy and not the reality. There will never be a guarantee of the “meet-cute” in real life, the silly and inane way the two destined-for-life-and-love-and-passion characters meet in a book. I admit I am particularly guilty of getting wrapped up in the literary fantasy men. I guess as escapism and for pure fun it is not so bad, but as for being any model for how to conduct a real life relationship, I know it is imperative to look elsewhere or face total annihilation of the heart. So sadly while Darcy, Gilbert, Captain Wentworth, etc. remain pretty on the page, they are destined to break your heart in reality.
Posted on 03/12/2011, in Books. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.
You have truth in a lot of what you say girl. However, if I may add, sometimes we, women, we have to step outside our mind sets to actually see what a man is really trying to tell us. It took me a really long time to realize how differently men show their love to us. It is definitely not how we show it to them. But does that mean it is not love? Maybe that's why Mr. Darcy and all the other manly characters of Jane Austens were all so brute but loveable. Did you ever notice how Jane Austen always focused real hard on a tough women who was confident enough to befriend a man. Then over time, through jealousy and fear of actually losing him to another, do these women realize that they see a better person in him. These tough women, all, eventually find a way to see the truth in the mens characters and actions. But it all happens over 'TIME'… That's always the main point in all the stories. A guy needs a lot of time with a woman and women to finally realize which one he can't live without. Just keep in mind that a woman who respects herself, is the one he too will respect… Men will push for quick fast relationships, but the one they stick to in the end is the one that took the longest and most effort 🙂 Great write Kris! 🙂
You are SO on to something Chica. Look especially at Captain Wentworth in Persuasion. Anne Elliot has spent 8 years regretting the decision to turn down his marriage proposal, and when she meets him again she comes to actually discover he has spent the 8 years remaining in love with her. Amazing!!!! Thanks for reading and commenting Chica :0)