Monthly Archives: September 2012
Patience My Dear
Patience is a virtue I am lacking. It’s not that I don’t know that things take time, that things must be worked towards, that instant gratification rarely happens, it’s just that I want to have the results now, the good or bad ending, I want it now! Even when I read a book I often skim the ending to know how things turned out, I want to know what my payoff will be for my time. The ending of a movie, sure, tell me, I don’t feel it spoils it! I always want to know what gifts the gifts are for my birthday or Christmas. I hate having to wait to give someone else a surprise, it drives me nuts. Surprises aren’t fun for me, so keeping me guessing won’t be fun and I hate holding in a surprise. I think more than anything, I don’t want to feel I’m wasting my time in an endeavor, so I want to get there quickly and efficiently. Anything that is worth doing is worth doing well. That rushed approach is probably no way to live life, but unfortunately it is one of my weaknesses. Yes, I admit it is a shortcoming I should probably try to overcome, but can I be patient enough, time will tell.
Signs, Signs, How to Read ‘Em
Reading signs is so important. They get you where you need to know on the road, and in life. When it comes to subtle sings of my fellow human, especially human males, I am at a loss. The difference between friendliness and true interest is beyond me, even after all my years. I like to think I observe, and I am aware there are people at ease with strangers, who just have a way of being open, friendly, and inviting. Then there are the people with the clear message to STAY AWAY! However, it is the want to get to know you more sign that is most boggling to me. I tend to not want to jump to that explanation, so I just let it pass me by. Clearly, there is an important reason to differentiate, but it is an ability that appears eludes me. It deserves some study and thought as a plan to address this deficiency in my arsenal of superpowers, this should be interesting ;0)
Try Again Tomorrow
Recently I heard someone suggest when feeling down because of a mistake or wrong step, to think about tomorrow and just try not to make that mistake again. She said the mistake was over and done, it couldn’t be undone, which is true. It is tomorrow you have to live for, not yesterday. The past can’t be undone, really it is best to live for the here and now, hoping for the future. I was surprised by who this advice came from, but I have found myself thinking it might not be all that bad of a mantra. So, I take this advice and hope to put it to some good practice from now on myself, to embrace what is coming and not what was . . .
He’s Just Not That Into You – Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo
With those six words I knew I was in for a different kind of advice book experience. This book directed at women stresses something that really is common sense, when a guy isn’t interested in you, you aren’t going to be able to magically change that and turn his feelings on. Amazing this book actually tells us something women shouldn’t be surprised to hear. The guy not calling, not having time for you; the guy who is leaving her as soon as he can but loves you and needs you, probably isn’t that into you. We all make mistakes, with dating and just otherwise navigating this thing called existence. Going after the wrong person, is I guess one of those things that can happen to smart people. This book poses questions from women, often so ridiculous and sad, yet not that unheard of and then presents the arguments women sometimes don’t want to hear or acknowledge. Behrendt is sure to address that, although not desired by this one guys we are just infatuated with, there will be someone worthy and someone who wants us just as much as we want them. Little homework exercises are presented at the end of the chapters, as well as a counterpoint to the argument Behrendt makes, but in the end it comes back to the sense it actually all makes that he’s not into you, once you really take some time to think about it. This isn’t a typical advice or self-help book, because it does have a decidedly comedic and snarky feel, that when a women is feeling down and out from dating torment, can actually provide a bit of fresh air and a laugh when needed most. Absurd as it is, the common sense approach really is uncommon sometimes.
Romance Novel Addiction
I wasn’t really a reader of the traditional “romance” novel until about two years ago. I picked up a novel that sounded cute, discovered it was romance, and was kinda hooked on the genre. I know that it does set up false expectation of how love and romance function in the real world. In real life it is a mix of timing, chemistry, and yes, hard work that make relationships and love last. The meet-cute is not likely to happen in real life. No adoring looks across a crowded room. No bonding over some silly situation. No instant heat and chemistry. No perfect Prince Charming to sweep a damsel off her feet. But hell if it isn’t a damn hoot to read. For the time while I am reading that story I get to have a little fun, keep a little of the faith, and just let go for a bit into a world of romantic possibilities. Sometimes it’s nice to step away from the world at hand and just have something a little happy and a little romantic to lose myself in, when the real world isn’t so romantic. I mix it up with more serious reading, but I find a good romantic story line hard to put down. I oooh and ahhh, laugh, and find myself taking what I like to call the “Reading Vacation,” and I am not ashamed in needing to take one every once in a while.
The Simple Things
Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens . . . not really, but it is the little things in life. Taking a moment to appreciate what is good and what is right with the world around me is something I forget to do quite often. Weighed down by the day to day concerns of life, makes appreciating what is going well in my life hard to do sometimes. Thanksgiving comes in the next few months, and the idea of taking stock of things to be grateful for should be taken beyond that one day. Noticing the things I can appreciate may just be a great way to ease some of the more difficult things that come my way. I am a known worrier, so any strategy to cope is worth a try. Sounds a bit silly I guess, but I’m giving it a go starting today, just taking simple stock for a few minutes by seeing what is good or right with my world.
You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’
Seems despite some nudges and suggestions I just can’t get myself back into the game, i.e., the dating game. When something feels like a losing proposition I am not that keen on keeping at it. I am stubborn to a fault, absolutely, but feeling like a fool I won’t suffer gladly. The more negative evidence I see and experience, the more I just say to my self, take a step away and abort the mission, because trying has been as much of a failing proposition as not trying. It doesn’t mean it has to be a lonely existence, there are things going on in life that do take up my time and thoughts. It is only in the more quiet and sedate moments that it is a bit rough standing alone, and hearing the ups and downs of some of my friends in relationships that gets my wistfulness kicked up a notch.