Confidence “Bucket List”

I was perusing some sites and came across the idea for something called a Confidence Bucket List.  I am not so much a pessimist, as I like to think a Worst Case Scenario Person, meaning I tend to expect the worst and hope for the best.  Hearing people talk about their bucket lists was always intriguing, but not something I really thought of taking part in myself.  However the idea of coming up with some things I’d like to actually give in and go for, despite my biggest fears, was something I felt could be fun, so here goes . . .

1. Wearing more dresses and shorts . . . I have always hated my legs.  While not “fat,” they were always, I would say, muscular and I felt I couldn’t pull off shorts very well.  As for dresses, I don’t feel dainty enough for shorter skirts or dresses.

2. Writing more poetry . . . I love to write, although I don’t do it as much as I should, I enjoy writing prose and blogging, but poetry has a special place in my heart.  I would love to attempt more poetry writing, no matter how emo it might sound.

3. Photography . . . I like to take pictures, of people and things, however I’ve never had the guts to go for a photography class.  It would be a challenge to have my photos critiqued, but learning the skill would be fun.

4. Wearing higher heels . . .  I guess this fits in with number one, but I do wish I could put on the occasional pair of stilettos and just not care.  I know they are bad for your feet, so it would be something just for fun and adventure during an evening out.  I could not wear them to work; I see women walking in my building in those things and I couldn’t imagine wearing those all day.

5. Travel somewhere alone . . . the last few years I have been traveling a bit more with family and family friends, but I haven’t really had the guts to take a trip, even a few days somewhere, on my own.  That would be a big step for me, something I hope I can do someday.

That is it for now, but a good start 🙂

What is on your Confidence To Do List?  Is there anything you wish you could just get up the nerve to go do?


Mean Girls and Boys . . .

Interesting read, and it gave me some food for thought so I wanted to share.


Seeking Forgiveness

I am keeping this short, but I have come to realize that you shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you like trash, and then feel like you need to seek their forgiveness!  That is a disservice to yourself, and gives someone else way too much power.  When you are treated like trash, do not be misguided in thinking that you need to be forgiven, they should be seeking your forgiveness!


Without a Trace

One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn this year is that you might wake up one day and realize you meant nothing to someone.  You invested your time and your emotions in the relationship, and like that they suddenly have no use for you.  It is hard for someone like me to wrap my head around that change in feelings in someone else.  Suddenly you mean nothing to them, you basically do not exist at all in their world now.  Sometimes it can happen because you’ve done something outright to cause it; other times it seems to just be the weight of things you didn’t even realize had ticked them off apparently, until it was too late.  I go though the ups and downs of dealing with this realization every single time it has happened.  I feel so adrift when it happens, and at a loss for how to set my world right again.  The saddest part in all that is knowing that the other person hasn’t probably thought once about me, given me a moments regret, and yet here I am “grieving” for the relationship lost.  Seems this lesson should have been drilled in by now, but I keep somehow forgetting just how much pain it causes, and sometimes how long that pain can last.



Cheer Up . ..

Cheer Up . . .

Interesting article and topic.  Having had a former friend get into conflict with me over attempted “positive affirmations” I have to wonder about all this . . .

How I “Get” People to Talk to me so I Can Understand Them

Great advice!

Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me

The pieces of me are not all pretty or neat;
some are complicated, some soft, some joyous;
others are simple, some rough, others brooding;

There are pieces that were handled with care,
treasured and held dear by someone;
Others roughed up and frayed,
weathering the storm as best they could,
a little worse for the wear;

There are pieces that fit easily,
and find their home and security;
Others remain alone, abandoned,
waiting for a place to rest;

The pieces of me are not all pretty or neat,
take them or leave them, but they are me;
Complicated and unruly, but all part of the whole,
The pieces of me are as yet to be complete.

Untitled . . .

Show me a better way,
and find deeper meaning.
Doubt claims my mind,
and lost in the fear.

Turns come sharp,
storms to endure,
finding the strength,
the need to fight,
come out on the other side,
better than I was before.

Life with Colleen Mary

..and the occasional iced caramel latte.


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