Category Archives: Life Bits
I was perusing some sites and came across the idea for something called a Confidence Bucket List. I am not so much a pessimist, as I like to think a Worst Case Scenario Person, meaning I tend to expect the worst and hope for the best. Hearing people talk about their bucket lists was always intriguing, but not something I really thought of taking part in myself. However the idea of coming up with some things I’d like to actually give in and go for, despite my biggest fears, was something I felt could be fun, so here goes . . .
1. Wearing more dresses and shorts . . . I have always hated my legs. While not “fat,” they were always, I would say, muscular and I felt I couldn’t pull off shorts very well. As for dresses, I don’t feel dainty enough for shorter skirts or dresses.
2. Writing more poetry . . . I love to write, although I don’t do it as much as I should, I enjoy writing prose and blogging, but poetry has a special place in my heart. I would love to attempt more poetry writing, no matter how emo it might sound.
3. Photography . . . I like to take pictures, of people and things, however I’ve never had the guts to go for a photography class. It would be a challenge to have my photos critiqued, but learning the skill would be fun.
4. Wearing higher heels . . . I guess this fits in with number one, but I do wish I could put on the occasional pair of stilettos and just not care. I know they are bad for your feet, so it would be something just for fun and adventure during an evening out. I could not wear them to work; I see women walking in my building in those things and I couldn’t imagine wearing those all day.
5. Travel somewhere alone . . . the last few years I have been traveling a bit more with family and family friends, but I haven’t really had the guts to take a trip, even a few days somewhere, on my own. That would be a big step for me, something I hope I can do someday.
That is it for now, but a good start 🙂
What is on your Confidence To Do List? Is there anything you wish you could just get up the nerve to go do?
I am keeping this short, but I have come to realize that you shouldn’t allow anyone to treat you like trash, and then feel like you need to seek their forgiveness! That is a disservice to yourself, and gives someone else way too much power. When you are treated like trash, do not be misguided in thinking that you need to be forgiven, they should be seeking your forgiveness!
One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn this year is that you might wake up one day and realize you meant nothing to someone. You invested your time and your emotions in the relationship, and like that they suddenly have no use for you. It is hard for someone like me to wrap my head around that change in feelings in someone else. Suddenly you mean nothing to them, you basically do not exist at all in their world now. Sometimes it can happen because you’ve done something outright to cause it; other times it seems to just be the weight of things you didn’t even realize had ticked them off apparently, until it was too late. I go though the ups and downs of dealing with this realization every single time it has happened. I feel so adrift when it happens, and at a loss for how to set my world right again. The saddest part in all that is knowing that the other person hasn’t probably thought once about me, given me a moments regret, and yet here I am “grieving” for the relationship lost. Seems this lesson should have been drilled in by now, but I keep somehow forgetting just how much pain it causes, and sometimes how long that pain can last.
Cheer Up . . .
Interesting article and topic. Having had a former friend get into conflict with me over attempted “positive affirmations” I have to wonder about all this . . .
A complaint I’ve heard a few times lately in the hearing loss support groups I hang out in is that “full-hearing” people resist making the effort to talk to us in such a way that we can understand them. Or they do sometimes, but then forget. I feel a lot of frustration around this for some people, sometimes translated into judgements about the other “not caring” or “not paying attention” or “being offended”.
This reminds me a little, in a “through the looking-glass” way, of how we “less-hearing” people are sometimes accused of “not paying attention”, “not making an effort”, or “being distracted”.
I try to always look at situations like this from the various points of view of the players involved. My work with people and technology, as well as teaching, have led me to adopt a kind of “user-experience-centric” attitude. Now, UX is definitely not my primary field of expertise (so…
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I am relatively young to have experienced significant enough hearing loss to require hearing aids and as I have gotten used to my new “bionic” ears, I have been thinking about hearing and how I communicate with the world, and how the world communicates with me. At first I felt funny having to get hearing aids; a 34-year-old should not need hearing aids, but what I wasn’t hearing was mucking up my life. At least now I knew there really was a problem and I had a solution. However, despite how nice it is to hear things louder, and in digital, I still find the occasional failure to communicate. I have noticed that people take for granted that they have spoken clearly, and/or fully have your attention. This is especially difficult if you have hearing loss in the same manner I do, which is due to damage to the nerves in the ear. This means that I might hear the sound, but might not make it out clearly. I hate asking someone to repeat, but sometimes I just cannot understand what has been said. As time has gone on, I am less afraid to say, hey, “I have broken ears, please, speak up and speak clearly!” I know it takes work on my end, of course, I do try my best, but it works both ways, especially if you are speaking with someone who is hard of hearing, which is more common than people realize. Another thing that gets me is people trying to speak to me as they are walking around a corner, or speaking to me from behind . I can’t imagine that is easy even with good hearing, but it is not easy to understand someone if they are walking away, not facing you, or in a different room. I know it is bound to happen, but I wish people would be more aware of doing it, even when they are speaking with someone with good hearing. Now I find myself trying not to do the walking away, talking thing. I also find I try to make sure I have the person’s attention before I speak. I have come to think more about how good communication works in this world and in relationships. I am by no means perfect in my communication, but not having perfect ears has made me more aware of how good communication should work.
PS – Thank you to Opinionated Man at HarsH ReaLiTy for giving his followers this challenge http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/05/25/harsh-reality-challenge-got-an-opinion/#comment-142511. He is a truly inspired blogger, with a passion for the written word 😀
I am a Taurus, and as such I do not like change or the new; I like the comfort of what is known and tested. Recently there have been a lot of things thrown my way to deal with, and I keep getting the advice to keep at it, start over, keep going. I want to, but I feel like a Weeble Toy that just keeps getting knocked down and I am at a point where I am just feeling too exhausted to get back up yet again. I think recently enduring another candle on the birthday cake the week before last just got to me, and the idea of trying again and getting back out there is just not where I want to be yet again. Well, where do I want to be I ask myself, there are certain things that I feel are just great and I wouldn’t change a thing, other things I wish I could just get to go my way. Want it and achieve it, right, well, that has never worked for me, yet. I don’t like to take to my blog to be in a sad or bad mood, but sometimes I just have to express the inner thoughts that keep me awake at night. Forgive me dear reader . . .
How do you feel about starting over? Have you been able to want it and achieve it?