In the dating world, what you want isn’t often what you get.  As an devoted Jane Austen fan I freely admit I am not immune to the charms of one Fitzwilliam Darcy.  I know he isn’t ever going to exist in the real world, since he is only a literary character, but, that doesn’t mean a girl can’t hope.  Not so much for Darcy to pop into existence and into my life, but more so I want that playful courtship he and Elizabeth endure.  It is that guy who is seemingly so very wrong for you, but turns out to be just who you need that intrigues me.  Despite being fiction, that is something that seems like something that can actually happen, granted not all the time, but it isn’t out of the realm of all possibility. 


Surrounded by relationships, it isn’t that I need a relationship to survive, no one I think really does, it is more that I want it to give me something more in my life.  Someone more in my life, someone who is all mine.  I don’t know if searching for it or letting it happen naturally is the best approach.  How can you make something like that happen?  Date after date, meeting after meeting, waiting for something to take foot.  Overwhelming comes to mind.  Honestly, it could take years, decades, and I am not as young as I once was.  The prospect of the search for my Mr. Darcy is daunting and not something I could take lightly, and just have fun going with the flow.  Wasting time isn’t something I like to do; I like order and set parameters with the anticipated goal there for the taking.  Questioning what is wrong with me at every turn becomes easy to do with each date failure.  Wondering why it isn’t happening for me.  Wondering where my happy ending is.  It just seems it shouldn’t be this difficult or stressful, it shouldn’t have be so much work.  So in the end I sit and groan, not really sure of how I should proceed when I feel so dejected either way I go as I seek Mr. Darcy.

K