Parents
Since today is Mother’s Day I have been thinking a great deal about family, parents in particular. 
A dear friend of mine recently lost her mother, and the loss she has experienced seems completely overwhelming and indescribable. Seeing what she is going through got me wondering about mother/daughter relationships. Recalling what my parents went through when the lost their mothers was a sobering experience, despite the years removed from those losses. Any parent/child relationship is going to be different and unique, even among siblings and their parents. The capacity to love is something that words really can never truly express adequately.
I have heard that mothers love their child before they even give birth, while fathers don’t feel the same connection until the child is actually born. Obviously, the child as an infant needs the parent, and the bond that needs to form is delicate and amazing to watch. As childhood passes, it seems to change and grow with the child needing the parent less and less, so they think. It seems once the parent is sick, or has passed, the need for the parent/child bond becomes more evident and the loss can be shattering to the spirit.
The closest I came to learning how devastating losing a parent could potentially be was in 2005 when my father had a quadruple bypass. He recovered and has been okay since, but the time we waited from December 2004 until his surgery in early January 2005 gave me time to think about what could go wrong. The day of his surgery was a blur, I seemed to live it but somehow not really feel it. Time that day did not move, and it was one of the longest days of my life. I still remember the numb feeling of seeing my father intubated, and post-op. It will never rank as a memory I want to maintain, since the fear became all to real. It is a close as I ever want to come for a very long time and has made me appreciate every moment.
For as much as a parent can drive a child crazy when the teenage years start and beyond, and vice versa, it seems one is never truly a grown up. I don’t truly believe we fill that “grown-up” roll until our parents are gone. Despite living a life of our own, needing a parent never quite seems to end.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there!
K
Divergent – Veronica Roth
Much as Suzanne Collins did in her Hunger Games Trilogy, Veronica Roth in Divergent begins painting a disturbing and startling vision of the future. In the dystopian Chicago of the future society, for better or worse, has broken into five factions that regard a particular virtue as important and the key to a better future. Abnegation the Selfless, Dauntless the Fearless/Brave, Erudite the Knowledgeable, Candor the Honest, and Amity the Peaceful. Beatrice Prior is 16 and about to come of age in this society as the Choosing Ceremony is about to take place, and she must make a choice that will forever change her. Growing up in Abnegation has never felt right to Beatrice, and a hard choice confronts the young woman as cracks in what is supposed to be a seamless societal structure begin to show. Her journey is a fast paced, exciting, and gripping as she confronts the choice she ultimately makes. Beatrice is a strong female narrator, painted in true strokes despite the dystopian premise of the story. Growing up, making choices, no matter what are universal themes. The themes about society as a whole and what virtues, frailties, and power surrounds are equally intriguing. A very different world from The Hunger Games, but no less imaginative, and for Young Adult fiction I find it to be equally thought-provoking. Well written stories take the reader in and raise questions, make us laugh, make us cry, make us cheer, and Veronica Roth has created a well-written novel. I am eagerly anticipating the second book in this trilogy!
K
11/22/63 – Stephen King
Having never read a Stephen King book, it was with some trepidation I began reading 11/22/63 for my bookclub. I was surprised that I ended up enjoyed the book. It is not the usual King “Horror,” but about a time traveler and a real historical event. The event is the watershed moment, November 22, 1963, the day President John Kennedy was assassinated. It is a lengthy book, something I have heard repeatedly about King’s writing, but not a badly written story at all. The book focuses on time traveling teacher Jake Epping and his journey as he attempts to change the obdurate past. It weaves in the historical figures Lee Harvey Oswald and his wife, with the fictional people Jake meets along the way. The more outrageous time travel element is about the only discernible supernatural or paranormal device more expected of King, but at it’s core remains a character book and a book about choices. The story about a regular man, an extraordinary opportunity, and the consequences for himself and those around him of taking or not taking that opportunity. And as historical fiction, and being a history lover myself, the notion of a journey to the past, and the implications of altering the past, or the butterfly effect, did intrigue me despite my being unfamiliar with King’s writing. Engaging storytelling, and an interesting premise, helped me navigate King’s lengthy writing style. Overall, I found it an enjoyable read, good for King fans as well as King newcomers.
K
Turner Point
When I was about 11 years old I got sick with a bad cold or flu. At the same time I had also developed a goiter. My eyes protruded and my neck had a tire like bulge. The doctor ran some tests and we discovered I had a thyroid condition. It would require daily medication and was easy enough to treat. However, I also wasn’t growing. At the time I was hovering well below 5′, despite my parents being taller than average. My dad is 6′ and my mom is 5’8″. Further tests lead to a more devastating diagnosis of Turner Syndrome (TS). Essentially I was born missing one of the two X chromosomes every girl and woman has. This leads to short stature, infertility, and a variety of other possible complications. This is a rare condition affecting 1 out of 2,000 to 5,000 female births, and only about 1% to 2% of embryos with this condition are actually born. With this diagnosis my life became a regular series of doctors appointments as I was growing up. I was placed on a protocol by my specialist, and as her oldest patient I was a test subject for her as well. This protocol consisted of Human Growth Hormone (HGH) and Estrogen Replacement Therapy. I had a sonogram of my kidneys to make sure they were formed correctly. I regularly got x-rays to see how my bones were fusing. This was certainly a difficult thing to face during adolescence, when a child may already feel different, to have a genetic test confirm, indeed you are quite different. I could get angry at God for giving me this to deal with, but I never have. I have the sense that I am lucky to have been given the life I was, despite it’s imperfections. It is part of my life, and something I have to deal with on a regular basis. I will never have a child of my own, and can only get pregnant using a donor egg and IVF. Adoption is something I have tossed around, and the idea of giving a child a home and family that needs one seems to be the route I would feel comfortable taking. Why try to crate a child when I would face a more than risky pregnancy, why not find that child who needs me? I feel that might be my purpose if I am to become a mother. I am at risk for heart issues, diabetes, eye problems, osteoporosis, hearing loss, just to name a few. Since there are limited women and girls with this condition to study, it isn’t easy for doctors to know with certainty what issues a TS patient will face as they age. I did reports on the condition in school to learn more, and had for a time thought I wanted to go into the field of medicine specializing in this and similar conditions. My hope was to give assistance to others facing what I had faced. Although I realized quickly my squeamishness would not be conducive to a career in medicine. Besides and physical issues, there are the psychological issues that go with a genetic condition. Dealing with infertility from such a young age is not easy. It certainly sets a TS teenage girl apart from her peers. Feeling like you don’t quite measure up to society standards is never an easy thing to deal with, and knowing how you don’t measure up doesn’t make it any more palatable. It isn’t that TS makes a girl or woman masculine, but you certainly don’t feel like you are quite an average woman. It is hard to feel like you can be accepted for who you are, when you feel so apart from the average. Fortunately I am taller than the average TS woman, although this brings me to the conundrum of sharing TS with them, but somehow being different from them. I feel that I can’t even fit in with TS right somehow, because I tower over them, so sometimes I feel where do I really fit in? Where can I be accepted? Hard things to wrap my head around. Yes, every woman has her body issues, but this condition is so linked to your womanhood, accepting yourself is not without difficulty. This diagnosis may not have been the most devastating by some standards, but it certainly changed how my life would play out. I have faced unique challenges, and will most likely continue to do so for the rest of my life.
K
Pen and Sword
My love of books and reading, along with my deep desire to write has made me think about the power of the written word. The power an author has in their words placed on the page is tremendous to behold. Authors take the reader in, hopefully if they have great skill, and essentially share their “world” with the reader. Whether it is fiction or nonfiction, the author is the ultimate creator of what the reader experiences. The phrase the pen is mightier than the sword comes to mind. Seeing just how much damage a scathing article can have on someone, or how deeply people come to love characters in a favorite novel or series, makes it apparent how deeply we connect with the written word. I have a friend and real blogging maven, who I am always amazed by how she can share an experience, making it come alive somehow on the page. There is something compelling about sharing one’s emotions and thoughts on the page, because somehow in writing it down, the emotions behind it feel stronger or more visceral. That also allows some sense that those feelings or emotions have been worked through in a more concrete manner. Giving expression to what rages inside feels necessary somehow, and the pen seems the most expedient way of going about expressing emotions, and working through something nagging at the mind.
K
When to Fold ‘Em
3rd Wheel
K
The Waiting Games
I am in the process of reading several continuing series right now and realize how frustrated I truly get as I wait to see how these series will play out. Waiting, in most instances up to a year or more, after finishing one book for the next in a series is slow torture. Because I have read a few series when all the books have been available, meaning there is no wait, I ask myself why did I start series that are still ongoing, boy was that a bad move! I feel like I am left in the middle of some great event, and then it abruptly stops so they can take a time out. Not knowing what will happen next that really does me in, I ALWAYS have to know. Leaving characters in peril or questions unanswered really doesn’t suit me at all. I get that it is a trick, played to keep those like me coming back for more, but ugh, it isn’t an easy wait. A good author makes that time between books worth the wait. If they can return and make you feel satisfied they have made it worth the torture. I have two books coming in May that I can’t wait for, so I am waiting for April to hurry up so I can delve back into stories that have left me waiting for far too long.
K
krissyandthecity 