Category Archives: Life Bits
The End of the Road . . .
Recently, actually just officially yesterday I got out of a relationship of a few months. Okay, only about two and half months. It wasn’t a mutual decision, it wasn’t something I was ready for. I had had the intuition a few weeks back it was going south, but chalked that up to insecurity and inexperience. Loss, in whatever manner it hits can send a person reeling, and looking for somewhere, anywhere to find purchase. I liken it to the fears I imagine being in a car accident would bring. Out of nowhere, hit with how to deal and manage this! How to survive this! A relationship ending, be it romantic or a friendship, means that anticipated companionship is gone, removed from existence. And when that end comes out of nowhere, and when it’s not a mutual decision, it smarts! The questions of why, what could have been different, where did it go so bad, start racing through the mind, especially if it was a romantic relationship. The end means the hopes or desires for any future are dead, gone, and buried. Yes, there is still the chance, given some time, that renewed hopes and desires will be found, but when hit with the immediate removal of those things, it isn’t easy to see. Getting invested in someone is bound to happen, and there is so much good and joy that comes with that, with a flip side of bad and pain that can result too. I am not someone who can trust easily, and that is the part that seems so difficult to accept, having allowed someone in and having that trust betrayed. Having someone you’ve let in throw that trust and openness back in your face like it was worthless that you gave them anything of yourself. The plain and simple fact that when the time, hopes, desires, etc. invested go nowhere, are ripped away, it isn’t going to produce joy or peace No, it’s loss plain and simple. Yes, starting over again is the rational and reasonable thing to do, but there is still pain, humiliation, despair, anger, confusion, and hopelessness in the immediate future. It appears the term heartache is appropriate, if not literal, it is more than adequately descriptive.
K
Haters Gonna Hate
As the expression goes, haters gonna hate. Funny thing is I realize my worst critic; where the absolute harshest criticism comes from, is from me. I find that when it comes to a harsh critique, no one tops what I have to say. Feeling the need to judge myself, I analyze and scrutinize for no good reason, it just comes naturally. I have to think others are judging themselves as well, so they don’t really have time to judge me, and why do I bother worrying so much. Overcoming that mindset takes determination and some strong will for sure, I have been doing it for so many years. It is a negative process that doesn’t do any good in the long run. Judging ourselves turns in to a harmful process when we allow the negative and bad overwhelm and take center stage. Finding a new thought process and a new way to approach that impulse is key to finding a way out of that harmful self-critical mode. So, this hater isn’t gonna hate anymore, or at least try not to :0)
K
The Simple Life
A friend had shared a post with me a while back about getting back to basics essentially, and finding your happiness. I’ve wavered and debated about it for a while, and am deciding to reflect upon it here and now. I intend to get back to what I want to fulfill me in this life. I enjoy my time with family, friends, reading, blogging, and just digging in and enjoying simple days. Worrying about things I cannot change will always press down on me, I will always want to make sure I am doing it right, but I also have to enjoy what is simply right there for me now. Sometimes you have to embrace that simple pleasure and just go with it, follow it to its conclusion. Happiness and contentment are always there, if you just know where to look, and oddly enough sometimes you don’t have to look far. Get back to the simple life.
K
Patience My Dear
Patience is a virtue I am lacking. It’s not that I don’t know that things take time, that things must be worked towards, that instant gratification rarely happens, it’s just that I want to have the results now, the good or bad ending, I want it now! Even when I read a book I often skim the ending to know how things turned out, I want to know what my payoff will be for my time. The ending of a movie, sure, tell me, I don’t feel it spoils it! I always want to know what gifts the gifts are for my birthday or Christmas. I hate having to wait to give someone else a surprise, it drives me nuts. Surprises aren’t fun for me, so keeping me guessing won’t be fun and I hate holding in a surprise. I think more than anything, I don’t want to feel I’m wasting my time in an endeavor, so I want to get there quickly and efficiently. Anything that is worth doing is worth doing well. That rushed approach is probably no way to live life, but unfortunately it is one of my weaknesses. Yes, I admit it is a shortcoming I should probably try to overcome, but can I be patient enough, time will tell.
K
Signs, Signs, How to Read ‘Em
Reading signs is so important. They get you where you need to know on the road, and in life. When it comes to subtle sings of my fellow human, especially human males, I am at a loss. The difference between friendliness and true interest is beyond me, even after all my years. I like to think I observe, and I am aware there are people at ease with strangers, who just have a way of being open, friendly, and inviting. Then there are the people with the clear message to STAY AWAY! However, it is the want to get to know you more sign that is most boggling to me. I tend to not want to jump to that explanation, so I just let it pass me by. Clearly, there is an important reason to differentiate, but it is an ability that appears eludes me. It deserves some study and thought as a plan to address this deficiency in my arsenal of superpowers, this should be interesting ;0)
K
Try Again Tomorrow
Recently I heard someone suggest when feeling down because of a mistake or wrong step, to think about tomorrow and just try not to make that mistake again. She said the mistake was over and done, it couldn’t be undone, which is true. It is tomorrow you have to live for, not yesterday. The past can’t be undone, really it is best to live for the here and now, hoping for the future. I was surprised by who this advice came from, but I have found myself thinking it might not be all that bad of a mantra. So, I take this advice and hope to put it to some good practice from now on myself, to embrace what is coming and not what was . . .
K
Romance Novel Addiction
I wasn’t really a reader of the traditional “romance” novel until about two years ago. I picked up a novel that sounded cute, discovered it was romance, and was kinda hooked on the genre. I know that it does set up false expectation of how love and romance function in the real world. In real life it is a mix of timing, chemistry, and yes, hard work that make relationships and love last. The meet-cute is not likely to happen in real life. No adoring looks across a crowded room. No bonding over some silly situation. No instant heat and chemistry. No perfect Prince Charming to sweep a damsel off her feet. But hell if it isn’t a damn hoot to read. For the time while I am reading that story I get to have a little fun, keep a little of the faith, and just let go for a bit into a world of romantic possibilities. Sometimes it’s nice to step away from the world at hand and just have something a little happy and a little romantic to lose myself in, when the real world isn’t so romantic. I mix it up with more serious reading, but I find a good romantic story line hard to put down. I oooh and ahhh, laugh, and find myself taking what I like to call the “Reading Vacation,” and I am not ashamed in needing to take one every once in a while.
K
The Simple Things
Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens . . . not really, but it is the little things in life. Taking a moment to appreciate what is good and what is right with the world around me is something I forget to do quite often. Weighed down by the day to day concerns of life, makes appreciating what is going well in my life hard to do sometimes. Thanksgiving comes in the next few months, and the idea of taking stock of things to be grateful for should be taken beyond that one day. Noticing the things I can appreciate may just be a great way to ease some of the more difficult things that come my way. I am a known worrier, so any strategy to cope is worth a try. Sounds a bit silly I guess, but I’m giving it a go starting today, just taking simple stock for a few minutes by seeing what is good or right with my world.
K
krissyandthecity 