Jane
Came across this and wanted to share this great column about Jane :0)
http://litreactor.com/columns/why-the-fck-do-people-love-jane-austen-a-primer
A Change Will Do Me Good
I am not a fan of change, yes sir, no thank you. I like the comfort of routine and the known, the strange and unfamiliar is terrifying. However, I am seeing, over the past few years that the word change has slowly entered my vocabulary. It is little things like trying a few new foods, getting out and joining something I didn’t think I would, singing karaoke, and attempting boldness and stating what I want (something I’ve been uncomfortable with). I am a Taurus, and it’s funny because as silly as astrology may seem, I read about astrology and the traits seem to fit. I am steadfast in my opinions, and no one can make me do anything I truly do not want to. Making a change or doing something is my own choice and comes when I want it. So, I take it as a growth that I am finding ways to shape further who I am and what I want in life, while staying true to who I am. I don’t think anyone should be someone they aren’t, but I am learning more and more what kind of woman I am, and that’s no bull.
K
This Time It’s Personal
I am tired of hearing “don’t take it personally!” It’s a load of crap! When you say and do things to others, it does affect someone. In this digital age of texts, IMs, faceless posts on social-networking sites, etc. we seem to have forgotten that fact. It amazes me that the phrases “don’t take it personally,” “it’s nothing personal,” or “it’s not you, it’s me,” are somehow all encompassing magic words that beg and expect forgiveness for behavior. Somehow those words make it okay, and the offended should shut up and move on, because it’s been made okay, it’s nothing personal after all. Yes, I am a sensitive person, so sue me, but I take it to heart when someone is negative or hurtful towards me. I regret it when I have hurt someone, I agonize over it. It appears I am the exception and not the rule. I think it needs to be remembered that the pen is mightier than the sword; it seems that the thumb, fingers, and tongue are also mightier than any sword as well. Kids and bullying is getting national attention, the underlying message is that the way someone is treated can have a profound influence on them. We strive to right these grandiose injustices of this world, the inequalities, and yet don’t seem to think about basic human decency or tact in our interactions at the core of morality and just treating people decently. Treat others how you want to be treated, easy enough, golden rule and all, but seems it is lacking these days.
K
Solo Soul
Reflection is a daunting and scary thing. Reflecting on dating history can be a trauma inducing exercise. Looking back on my past, past choices, past mistakes, past everything has made me rethink what I once truly hoped and believed to be possible, or more so hoped to be possible – Soul Mates. Yes, a word that conjures up happy endings and life long joy with that one special person. Well, it’s around, I see people I suppose I would classify as soul mates. People who seem to naturally fit with each other and seem to have found their better half. Although, I know outside observers are not always privy to what happens behind closed doors, but nonetheless I see those happy couples. What is often overlooked, are those who seem to continue to never find that. Are we making a mistake but not looking hard enough, looking too hard, which way is just right? Should you take every chance at a date, a new match? Should you just focus on anything else and it’ll just happen?? Well, what if, just what if, some of us are not made to have lasting love, a lasting partnership? What if some of us must journey life on our own without someone making our heart skip a beat, making our pulse race, making us feel like anything is possible? I pose these questions because when you are looking, every failed attempt, and every time you weren’t chosen just gets harder with each time it happens again. It is less of a badge of courage, and more a feeling of what the hell is wrong with me? If you stop looking, well, deep inside you’ve done it for a reason, so as you go along living your life, you’re still alone and it still has to hit hard every once in a while. I suggest there are some, and these souls I propose are the Solo Souls. Floating along at their own pace, living their life, never coming to find that someone special, no matter how many times they try to say to themselves there is someone out there. Solo Souls aren’t bad, it’s not negative, it’s just some of us aren’t the right match for anyone, and no one is the right match for us. I say here and now, I may very likely be a Solo Soul!
K
Sweet Dreams Are (Not) Made of This
I have a tendency to recall dreams on a fairly decent basis, not every detail, but I can recall the gist of the dream . Well, last night, I had two whoppers! I am quite aware of “this is only a dream,” but it still can rattle a perturbed mind. One would think that when you are walking through your living room and see a cobra, and it’s shedded skin, you would think now that’s bizarre! I live in Florida and snakes are common, but I’m not aware of how prevalent cobras actually are. While I’m awake snakes terrify me, so oddly enough it was terrifying in the dream to find a snake under a hallway table which then proceeded to slither near me. I of course woke myself up before much else happened. It appears that this “could” symbolize hypnotism in some relationship, which could be accurate after last weeks “drama.” My next bizarre nighttime theater was I was on a cruise ship, having come back from one about two weeks ago that makes sense; I was enjoying hanging around, I had left to explore the ship on my own, when all of a sudden we’re sinking! I was not able to get to my muster station and had to follow other people up this other set of stairs to another muster station while the water is rising. I got upset I hadn’t found the other people I was with and was nervous being in the wrong place and then I woke up. Again, I always like to see what these kind of things “mean” and see it means feeling overwhelmed and needing to let go of old ideas or beliefs. Interesting. Odd things to share, but writing helps me, and felt let it out :0) So I wonder what dreams I can have tonight!
K
The End of the Road . . .
Recently, actually just officially yesterday I got out of a relationship of a few months. Okay, only about two and half months. It wasn’t a mutual decision, it wasn’t something I was ready for. I had had the intuition a few weeks back it was going south, but chalked that up to insecurity and inexperience. Loss, in whatever manner it hits can send a person reeling, and looking for somewhere, anywhere to find purchase. I liken it to the fears I imagine being in a car accident would bring. Out of nowhere, hit with how to deal and manage this! How to survive this! A relationship ending, be it romantic or a friendship, means that anticipated companionship is gone, removed from existence. And when that end comes out of nowhere, and when it’s not a mutual decision, it smarts! The questions of why, what could have been different, where did it go so bad, start racing through the mind, especially if it was a romantic relationship. The end means the hopes or desires for any future are dead, gone, and buried. Yes, there is still the chance, given some time, that renewed hopes and desires will be found, but when hit with the immediate removal of those things, it isn’t easy to see. Getting invested in someone is bound to happen, and there is so much good and joy that comes with that, with a flip side of bad and pain that can result too. I am not someone who can trust easily, and that is the part that seems so difficult to accept, having allowed someone in and having that trust betrayed. Having someone you’ve let in throw that trust and openness back in your face like it was worthless that you gave them anything of yourself. The plain and simple fact that when the time, hopes, desires, etc. invested go nowhere, are ripped away, it isn’t going to produce joy or peace No, it’s loss plain and simple. Yes, starting over again is the rational and reasonable thing to do, but there is still pain, humiliation, despair, anger, confusion, and hopelessness in the immediate future. It appears the term heartache is appropriate, if not literal, it is more than adequately descriptive.
K
Haters Gonna Hate
As the expression goes, haters gonna hate. Funny thing is I realize my worst critic; where the absolute harshest criticism comes from, is from me. I find that when it comes to a harsh critique, no one tops what I have to say. Feeling the need to judge myself, I analyze and scrutinize for no good reason, it just comes naturally. I have to think others are judging themselves as well, so they don’t really have time to judge me, and why do I bother worrying so much. Overcoming that mindset takes determination and some strong will for sure, I have been doing it for so many years. It is a negative process that doesn’t do any good in the long run. Judging ourselves turns in to a harmful process when we allow the negative and bad overwhelm and take center stage. Finding a new thought process and a new way to approach that impulse is key to finding a way out of that harmful self-critical mode. So, this hater isn’t gonna hate anymore, or at least try not to :0)
K
The Simple Life
A friend had shared a post with me a while back about getting back to basics essentially, and finding your happiness. I’ve wavered and debated about it for a while, and am deciding to reflect upon it here and now. I intend to get back to what I want to fulfill me in this life. I enjoy my time with family, friends, reading, blogging, and just digging in and enjoying simple days. Worrying about things I cannot change will always press down on me, I will always want to make sure I am doing it right, but I also have to enjoy what is simply right there for me now. Sometimes you have to embrace that simple pleasure and just go with it, follow it to its conclusion. Happiness and contentment are always there, if you just know where to look, and oddly enough sometimes you don’t have to look far. Get back to the simple life.
K
krissyandthecity 