How to Lose a Friend in 10 Days . . .
Not really, but having recently lost a long-standing friend, I have been doing some thinking about how to end a friendship “properly.” First of all, I think you need to let the person know the real reason the friendship has become “toxic” in your opinion. Do not hide behind false excuses. Sometimes the other person doesn’t really know they have been a problem for you. Second, don’t try the fade-out method, it is awful when men pull that when they no longer want to date a women, same goes for friends. Third, listen to the other person. See if they have been going through something, maybe there is something salvageable if you just listen to them and don’t go off in a huff and righteous indignation. Finally, try to see their emotions in this. It isn’t easy losing a friend, so try to be kind and be honest if you do really need to let someone go. Remember, any relationship typically involves two people, so think about the other person a little, and they might just think about you . . .
Don’t Believe the Hype . . .
It has been pointed out to me that being a negative personality, or bringing your woes continually to someone can push them away. I admit, yes, this can prove true. However, there are people who seem in need of constant lauding in their life, and that grows equally draining and irksome. These people seem to need to have every accomplishment high-fived and celebrated. They keep a “yes crew” around them who can give them that needed praise at any given moment. That need for adulation grows weary, and friendship will not likely survive the moment the required praise fails to come, or their supposed “greatness” comes into question. So yes, while the woe is me person grows tiresome, the inflated egomaniac can suck all the oxygen out of the room.
Glass Houses and Stones
There is an expression that those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. I have to say that expression resonates with me. As easily as a person can sit back and observe and critique someone else’s life and choices, it has to be remembered that those judgments and/or critiques offered should come with a warning to the giver! It is simple to sit back as a third-party and have an opinion, but to be offended or get angry when the advice given isn’t taken well baffles me, especially when said advice isn’t asked for or sought out. I know as humans we make judgments, but to expect fellow sentient beings to just gladly take whatever observations are offered is naïve. Sometimes remember to expect that people might not take kindly to well-intended advice. The person might not be ready to accept the “truth”, there might be things as an outside observer is not aware of, sometimes people just don’t want advice. I think it is always good to be thoughtful when giving advice, and to remember that the hand you “feed” could bite back. So I try to think about that old expression, and stop to ask myself, am I ready to throw that stone, is my house is made of strong enough glass, should I really risk it?
What You Got Till It’s Gone . . .
There is a song, Big Yellow Taxi, with the line “don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone . . .” Well, I think there is some real truth to that. Often times we take for granted the moments and time we have, with loved ones, friends, etc. It is a strange thing how we let that happen and often fail to appreciate what we have right now. The constant yearning and search for the next great thing, the next better thing, doesn’t allow us to really appreciate or make the most of what is right there. It is sad that this is the case, why can’t we let go and say yes, this moment, this person, this is where I should be and enjoy it. I suppose it takes some effort to do that, not be in the constant search for the next, better, brighter, nicer, etc. A life lived like that seems to be missing something to me. It isn’t that we should stop striving and hoping, but I think opportunities and happiness are missed out on when you live in that constant “searching” state, and never take in the moment and those around you now. Just my thoughts :0)
Tell Me What You Dream
Having been fighting this respiratory thing the last few days I am finding I am also being plagued by strange dreams. Not scary in that horror movie kind of way, scary in the what in the world was that kind of way. About three times just this past night I was awoken by some oddity in my dreams. Remembering dreams isn’t unusual for me, but it seems when I’m not feeling well dreams become more vivid and more surreal. As if being sick wasn’t enough to make the night rough, I have to deal with the odd in my dreams, really not fair.
Is it just me, or does anyone else experience this strange phenomenon when they are sick?
Summer Cold Make Me Feel Blah
It happened, I ended up with a lovely summer cold/upper respiratory thing :0( I have always believed that getting a cold in the summer is highly unfair. Colds are caused by a virus, blah, blah, blah, but somehow during the summer it doesn’t seem that a cold should be allowed to occur. Sun, fun, relaxation, that is summer, not sniffles, coughing, and misery. So I figured I would share my misery on this lovely August day while my head is stuffed and my nose is a faucet and I cough, oh well, summer cold fun.
Best Buy – GRRRRRRRRRRR
Okay, rant time, but this will be a short post too :0P Yesterday I went to Best Buy to return something, with a receipt in hand, and that damn messed up policy to take and swipe my license makes me furious. WHAT OTHER STORE DOES THIS! Oh, the cashier tried to say Wal-Mart does this too, I haven’t been there in a while, but I don’t remember that and I am not sure if this is their policy now too. It is ridiculous that they track returns this way, to my license, it made me feel like a criminal! Okay, I can see there might be people who are return offenders, but give me a break. Best Buy is in trouble, having to possibly let people go, hummmm, maybe that is why people don’t want to shop there anymore, because they feel like criminals!
*I looked it up, Wal-Mart does this if you don’t have a receipt, which I can tolerate, but when you have a receipt, that is just, ugh!!
Mean People . . . GRRRR
I recently learned something about mean people, and came to some conclusions about their role in my life. My thought has always been that according to the “Golden Rule” the way you treat people is how you want to be treated. I suppose this is a naive way to think, but it is how my thought process goes and I don’t see it changing. I have accepted that karma is a real and true thing and hope to act accordingly. I honestly think the good you put out into the world gets paid back to you and the bad you put out in the world also comes back somehow, someway. I don’t think that I have vindictive or cruel intentions when I have failed to act as I know I should have, and of course like every human I am liable to make mistakes and say things and do things that can be mean and thoughtless, but never with real intention to do harm. Although I am starting to believe there are some people who I don’t think feel quite the same way about this issue. Sadly there are people that don’t have that filter and don’t truly care about their behavior and their treatment of others. It is funny because I have been told on occasion that I am too nice. I suppose I can’t help myself and don’t really think that giving back cruelty to those who have been cruel to me will serve any real purpose Maybe that makes me a bit of a Pollyanna, but so be it, that is how I am. I was recently confronted with a cruel person, and this cruelty was for no reason. I find I can’t do more than just avoid this person and be, at the bare minimum, cordial to them. Seeing more and more of this nature in people still does not change how I view things and my reactions to them, because I can never allow myself to be the bad guy. I truly want to be the bigger person, not the bad guy for the sake of payback.