The questions rage, I will quiet them. Seems everyone else is need to know, and it gets into my head. I do not know how to answer, I will when the time is right. Until then I must settle in and see what happens.
Category Archives: Life Bits
Now Hear This
I recently got hearing aids. Yes, while in my 30’s I have been diagnosed with a hearing loss and now must wear hearing aids as a result of irreversible nerve damage. It was a creeping problem for the most part. I had to set the volume higher, ask people to repeat, strain to try to keep up with conversations in certain situations, and now live with a constant ringing in my ears. Apparently I was the last to admit to myself there was an issue. I am glad I did something about it, because I was living in a state of stress and missing out on life in some respects. Having had a few days to adjust to the tiny buds in my ears, I am now aware of new sounds around me, and it certainly has made things interesting. The hum of the a/c, the copier rolling to life, the click clack of shoes on the hardwood floor, yes, those sounds seem like nothing, but for the first time in a long time I really notice them. I am not straining as much in conversations, and I am enjoying that I don’t focus on the ringing in my ears as much. It wasn’t a huge change in my life, but one that I think will be positive and beneficial in the long run.
K
What You Got Till It’s Gone . . .
There is a song, Big Yellow Taxi, with the line “don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone . . .” Well, I think there is some real truth to that. Often times we take for granted the moments and time we have, with loved ones, friends, etc. It is a strange thing how we let that happen and often fail to appreciate what we have right now. The constant yearning and search for the next great thing, the next better thing, doesn’t allow us to really appreciate or make the most of what is right there. It is sad that this is the case, why can’t we let go and say yes, this moment, this person, this is where I should be and enjoy it. I suppose it takes some effort to do that, not be in the constant search for the next, better, brighter, nicer, etc. A life lived like that seems to be missing something to me. It isn’t that we should stop striving and hoping, but I think opportunities and happiness are missed out on when you live in that constant “searching” state, and never take in the moment and those around you now. Just my thoughts :0)
K
What a Rush
It’ s been a wild few months for me, to say the least. I have sought out new adventures (at least trying to) as much as I can. In February I began hitting the karaoke circuit with unabashed passion. I find that it is great way to cut loose and have a little fun. There are a few go-to songs in my bag of tricks, but I like to trying new songs when I feel more adventurous. I’ve met a few new people through these new adventures as well, which is always a plus. It has given way to a few fun evenings. I went to a meet and greet date auction one Friday evening. I didn’t bid, or put myself up for auction, but I went and had some fun watching the festivities. I then decided to accept an offer to go tubing on the same day as I was heading out to celebrate my birthday with friends. I have to say, it was more than fun to just chill and float down the Rainbow River here in Florida. I did manage to get sunburned, but that was worth it in the end. My party was a blast, had a great time thanks to great friends at a local Irish Sports Bar/Pub. Next I headed out on a cruise and celebrated my actual birthday in Cozumel. The suite was decorated and there even was cake! I got home and had another mini adventure soon after in Daytona for a weekend getaway. I tried sushi for the first time last weekend, and lived to tell the tale. I am a convert and think I will be enjoying sushi again. Then today I got my picture in the local paper, which was kind of a funny and unexpected thing. It was all so random, I was sitting outside my office building reading at the nearby park, and a man comes up to me saying he is a photographer for the local paper and wanted a picture for a story on getting free Wi-Fi in the local parks. Well, I said yes and got to be in the paper, it was pretty funny. I am glad that despite the year starting out kind of rough, I have decided to make the most of this adventure that is life, what a rush!
K
A Change Will Do Me Good
I am not a fan of change, yes sir, no thank you. I like the comfort of routine and the known, the strange and unfamiliar is terrifying. However, I am seeing, over the past few years that the word change has slowly entered my vocabulary. It is little things like trying a few new foods, getting out and joining something I didn’t think I would, singing karaoke, and attempting boldness and stating what I want (something I’ve been uncomfortable with). I am a Taurus, and it’s funny because as silly as astrology may seem, I read about astrology and the traits seem to fit. I am steadfast in my opinions, and no one can make me do anything I truly do not want to. Making a change or doing something is my own choice and comes when I want it. So, I take it as a growth that I am finding ways to shape further who I am and what I want in life, while staying true to who I am. I don’t think anyone should be someone they aren’t, but I am learning more and more what kind of woman I am, and that’s no bull.
K
This Time It’s Personal
I am tired of hearing “don’t take it personally!” It’s a load of crap! When you say and do things to others, it does affect someone. In this digital age of texts, IMs, faceless posts on social-networking sites, etc. we seem to have forgotten that fact. It amazes me that the phrases “don’t take it personally,” “it’s nothing personal,” or “it’s not you, it’s me,” are somehow all encompassing magic words that beg and expect forgiveness for behavior. Somehow those words make it okay, and the offended should shut up and move on, because it’s been made okay, it’s nothing personal after all. Yes, I am a sensitive person, so sue me, but I take it to heart when someone is negative or hurtful towards me. I regret it when I have hurt someone, I agonize over it. It appears I am the exception and not the rule. I think it needs to be remembered that the pen is mightier than the sword; it seems that the thumb, fingers, and tongue are also mightier than any sword as well. Kids and bullying is getting national attention, the underlying message is that the way someone is treated can have a profound influence on them. We strive to right these grandiose injustices of this world, the inequalities, and yet don’t seem to think about basic human decency or tact in our interactions at the core of morality and just treating people decently. Treat others how you want to be treated, easy enough, golden rule and all, but seems it is lacking these days.
K
Solo Soul
Reflection is a daunting and scary thing. Reflecting on dating history can be a trauma inducing exercise. Looking back on my past, past choices, past mistakes, past everything has made me rethink what I once truly hoped and believed to be possible, or more so hoped to be possible – Soul Mates. Yes, a word that conjures up happy endings and life long joy with that one special person. Well, it’s around, I see people I suppose I would classify as soul mates. People who seem to naturally fit with each other and seem to have found their better half. Although, I know outside observers are not always privy to what happens behind closed doors, but nonetheless I see those happy couples. What is often overlooked, are those who seem to continue to never find that. Are we making a mistake but not looking hard enough, looking too hard, which way is just right? Should you take every chance at a date, a new match? Should you just focus on anything else and it’ll just happen?? Well, what if, just what if, some of us are not made to have lasting love, a lasting partnership? What if some of us must journey life on our own without someone making our heart skip a beat, making our pulse race, making us feel like anything is possible? I pose these questions because when you are looking, every failed attempt, and every time you weren’t chosen just gets harder with each time it happens again. It is less of a badge of courage, and more a feeling of what the hell is wrong with me? If you stop looking, well, deep inside you’ve done it for a reason, so as you go along living your life, you’re still alone and it still has to hit hard every once in a while. I suggest there are some, and these souls I propose are the Solo Souls. Floating along at their own pace, living their life, never coming to find that someone special, no matter how many times they try to say to themselves there is someone out there. Solo Souls aren’t bad, it’s not negative, it’s just some of us aren’t the right match for anyone, and no one is the right match for us. I say here and now, I may very likely be a Solo Soul!
K
Sweet Dreams Are (Not) Made of This
I have a tendency to recall dreams on a fairly decent basis, not every detail, but I can recall the gist of the dream . Well, last night, I had two whoppers! I am quite aware of “this is only a dream,” but it still can rattle a perturbed mind. One would think that when you are walking through your living room and see a cobra, and it’s shedded skin, you would think now that’s bizarre! I live in Florida and snakes are common, but I’m not aware of how prevalent cobras actually are. While I’m awake snakes terrify me, so oddly enough it was terrifying in the dream to find a snake under a hallway table which then proceeded to slither near me. I of course woke myself up before much else happened. It appears that this “could” symbolize hypnotism in some relationship, which could be accurate after last weeks “drama.” My next bizarre nighttime theater was I was on a cruise ship, having come back from one about two weeks ago that makes sense; I was enjoying hanging around, I had left to explore the ship on my own, when all of a sudden we’re sinking! I was not able to get to my muster station and had to follow other people up this other set of stairs to another muster station while the water is rising. I got upset I hadn’t found the other people I was with and was nervous being in the wrong place and then I woke up. Again, I always like to see what these kind of things “mean” and see it means feeling overwhelmed and needing to let go of old ideas or beliefs. Interesting. Odd things to share, but writing helps me, and felt let it out :0) So I wonder what dreams I can have tonight!
K
krissyandthecity 