Really excellent post! As I wear glasses (sometimes contacts) and hearing aids, I can identify with this!
Since I started spending so much time thinking about hearing loss and hearing technology, one of the things I’ve obviously been thinking about it social stigma related to hearing loss. Stigma is immediately cited as the reason people wait so long to get fitted, and the reason for which “invisible” is a great quality for a hearing aid. (Not everybody agrees, though.)
Photo credit: Corinne Stoppelli
In an attempt to wrap my head around some of these issues, I’ve been trying to make parallels between eyes and ears, glasses and hearing aids. Why is “not hearing well” considered so differently from “not seeing well”? Saying “there’s more stigma” is not really an answer. Social stigma comes from somewhere, right?
I think the main thing we need to consider here is that hearing loss impacts our relationships to other people, whereas visual loss (!) mainly…
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One of the hardest things is learning, continuing, and remembering to love yourself. I think women find this particularly hard. It ruins relationships, romantic or otherwise. When you feel you do not measure up, do not fit the bill, are not enough, how is someone going to see good in you, or love you if you don’t see the good in yourself? I took a challenge in February, yes, a bit late blogging about the experience, but here it is. There was a challenge to “Be Your Own Valentine – Love ThighSelf,” prompting women following the page to find something every day during the month of February they like/love about themselves. I was hesitant at first to take it on, because I am not one who likes to inflate my ego, despite the good intentions of the challenge. I noticed I found the first few days easier to come up with something I could say that was positive about myself, and as time when on it was progressively more difficult to come up with the positive affirmation. Looking back at how I took on the challenge, and I am glad in many ways I did, and how I could apply it to making each day a little more positive from then on, not always directing the positive thought at myself or something about me, but just remember the positive things in my life. I have been in need of a reminder of that lately. Remember, liking or loving yourself are probably some of the most difficult things in this life, particularly if you have grown accustom to wanting to blend in and just not be noticed either way in this life, but it is a simple lesson – if you can’t like or love yourself, why should anyone else?
Why do you think we are hardest on ourselves? How do you overcome that?
I have been doing some thinking about why I came back to the blog after a lengthy absence. Honestly, I have been trying to deal with things that are happening around me, things that I have no control over. Getting it out through words seems to be a good way to let myself work though what I need to, and my passion to share has been reignited. I have also been reading other blogs and seeing that I am in some pretty good company. Sharing thoughts and words is cathartic for me, and open something that I need to express and it seems I can’t in any other way. I find more passion on the page, more passion in putting into words what is going on in my head, and sometimes in my heart. It isn’t always easy, or pretty, but it remains necessary, and hopefully I will keep at it.
I have come to understand this quote, and how true it is! It seems when things go south, it is especially true. I don’t know why, but it seems we get especially cloudy memories at the worst times, and we are so limited to our own view of things. I have been guilty of only seeing my side, and having someone not see my side and hating me for no real valid reason. Emotions, experiences, expectations all get in the way and I think cause the murky territory. Saying I will not allow it to happen to me is not likely to work. We will always fail to listen to others at some point or other, and fail to have someone listen to us at some point or another. I suppose the best we can hope for is that we are aware and try to not fall into the pit that often. However, sad when it happens, and sadder even when something is lost because of it.
I started going to Zumba class August of 2013, and since the first class was free I had nothing to lose. Many months later and now I try to go twice a week if I can. The reality is I have a desk job, and don’t move as much as I should during the day, which isn’t a good thing. Hitting this high energy dance class helps me get inspired to move. While I am far from the best dancer, I always have fun shaking my booty to the music and trying to follow the instructor. Everyone is encouraged to go at their own pace; the point is to move for the hour, which goes by faster than you would think. The funny thing is I had a hard time keeping up with going to the gym, but I don’t seem to have the same problem with this class. I think the best way to get motivated to exercise and move is to find what works the best for you, find something you actually enjoy doing, what you will be able to keep doing over and over. If you like to dance, try Zumba or some other dance class; if you like tennis, see if you can find a court where you can play; if you like basketball, go shoot some hoops. I enjoy the class every week, and seeing many of the same women is a nice motivator as well, since we are in this together. The instructors are great, and very nice women, so it doesn’t feel like a chore to go week after week. The hour of Zumba is my time to get moving, and have some fun, while I try to get healthy.
How do you find motivation to get moving? What activities do you enjoy most to keep active?
As stubborn as I am, one of the hardest things for me is letting go of hurt. When I feel devalued, mistreated, or generally stomped upon by someone, I can’t seem to let that feeling of pain go. I don’t want to dwell, or give someone that kind of power over me, but as hard as I try to say it’s not worth it, my heart doesn’t get the message like my brain. I write this as a means to remind myself to send that hurt where it belongs, and not to let if fester and bring me down. There are people who basically suck, for lack of a more eloquent word, and their opinion should not gain a hold on me. Sometimes the other person needs to examine themselves, and see what they need to work on, because I truly feel, how you tear someone else down has more to do with how you see yourself. Just needed to share, and hopefully let this go 🙂
How do you let go of the past? How do you move beyond hurt feelings?
Despite appearances, I am going to make myself ready for the good things that are sure to come my way . . . and I will embrace them with my whole heart!
There is that expression that crime doesn’t pay, which, sure, makes perfect sense. However, I have been thinking in recent days that being good sometimes doesn’t pay either. It is funny when you try to do the right and proper thing, you still can be hit with things that knock you off your butt. Sometimes I just want to scream, and say ENOUGH. Not that I think I deserve some special accolades for maintaining this “goodness”, but it can get to be a handful. I don’t go out of my way to hurt people, but why should I allow myself to get hurt and run into the ground by others without coming back fighting for myself, since no one else can or will really fight for me. I feel sometimes the quiet, meek ones endure these things the most, because, wow, the meek don’t bite back, the meek don’t fight, it just doesn’t happen, so they will take what is dished out. Well, goodness can only carry a girl so far . . .