Blog Archives

Laugh, Paint, Live

Tonight I decided last minute to keep a commitment to go and paint pottery with some lovey friends of mine, despite a week that had its up and downs (and yes, a weather Migraine).  My good friend T, just her initial to maintain her privacy, lol, got me to go, and I am so glad she did.  I love the pottery place we frequent, and it was soothing tonight to have some time to paint and take my mind off some things.  Laughing with friends, and getting some things off my chest, was a godsend this week.  I say, when life seems to be getting you down, laugh, paint, live . . . and enjoy a milkshake!

K

Fight Like Cats and Dogs

My father and I got to talking about how women fight with each other, and how men fight with each other, and he brought up some good points how different the sexes interact when fighting among themselves. He pointed out that women typically go for harsh words with one another, what I call the mean girl style of conflict resolution. You try to knock the other woman out with you vicious words, make them feel smaller than a gnat, and hope they get the message loud and clear – they are persona non grata!  Men I suggest are likely get physical when an issue comes up, and then after that either they might get some beers or never speak again. And sometimes more than likely, men will just avoid the situation entirely, and just not speak to those they don’t want to. It is how the sexes do battle among themselves, and how different it seems to be when you think about it. I noticed this difference looking back to when I was in school, and how boys and girl resolved conflicts typically. When girls didn’t like another girl, they got their gang together, not to physically hurt the other girl usually, but to verbally assault her and make her feel like she was dirt, and make her “disappear.” Boys, I always felt ended up resorting to fisticuffs, and then things would be over and everybody resume your regularly scheduled day. That is to say there are always exceptions to this “rule” and these behaviors, but it interesting to note how the sexes handle these things.

What do you think is typical man vs. woman behavior in resolving conflicts among themselves?

K

Trying a New Approach

This year has been eventful, and because of all that has been going on I have decided to take care of my health more.  I started Zumba classes late last year, and despite taking some time off I am back at it.  I even try to go two times a week.  I decided at the end of February to buy a fitness tracker, which one I won’t say on here, lol, and since I have been using it I do notice a difference.  It it odd how a little thing like that has gotten me motivated to move more every day.  I like seeing my goal be met each day, and I have noticed a change in how my clothes have gotten looser.  I have been taking a lot of walks lately, just because I need the time to think and take stock.  Stress is always around, so I am trying to do something to keep it under control.  This year has been full of some pretty heavy things, and I just hope by managing my stress, and doing something active, I can help stay healthier and take care of what comes my way.

What changes are you hoping to make in the coming months?  How do you think new goals are best reached?

K

Appreciation vs. Toleration

As I’ve gotten older I see more and more how important it is to have those people I appreciate, not just tolerate in my life. I also see I need those people in my life who appreciate me, and what I “bring to the table.” Finding that, and maintaining it, become more important with age I believe. When you’re a child, you can float in and out of relationships with seeming ease. As an adult, that is often not so easy. Valuing those you’ve kept and keep around you means something as life changes and responsibilities increase. Nurturing those people that have value makes the relationship mean something. If you find you are tolerating someone, or they only tolerate you, consider moving on. It can be hard, but there will be more time to nurture the significant relationships in your life.

How do you try to appreciate those around you? How do you appreciate yourself?

K

How to Lose a Friend in 10 Days . . .

Not really, but having recently lost a long-standing friend, I have been doing some thinking about how to end a friendship “properly.”  First of all, I think you need to let the person know the real reason the friendship has become “toxic” in your opinion.  Do not hide behind false excuses.  Sometimes the other person doesn’t really know they have been a problem for you.  Second, don’t try the fade-out method, it is awful when men pull that when they no longer want to date a women, same goes for friends.  Third, listen to the other person.  See if they have been going through something, maybe there is something salvageable if you just listen to them and don’t go off in a huff and righteous indignation.  Finally, try to see their emotions in this.  It isn’t easy losing a friend, so try to be kind and be honest if you do really need to let someone go.  Remember, any relationship typically involves two people, so think about the other person a little, and they might just think about you . . .

K

Don’t Believe the Hype . . .

It has been pointed out to me that being a negative personality, or bringing your woes continually to someone can push them away.  I admit, yes, this can prove true.  However, there are people who seem in need of constant lauding in their life, and that grows equally draining and irksome.  These people seem to need to have every accomplishment high-fived and celebrated.  They keep a “yes crew” around them who can give them that needed praise at any given moment.  That need for adulation grows weary, and friendship will not likely survive the moment the required praise fails to come, or their supposed “greatness” comes into question.  So yes, while the woe is me person grows tiresome, the inflated egomaniac can suck all the oxygen out of the room.

K

Glass Houses and Stones

There is an expression that those who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.  I have to say that expression resonates with me.  As easily as a person can sit back and observe and critique someone else’s life and choices, it has to be remembered that those judgments and/or critiques offered should come with a warning to the giver!  It is simple to sit back as a third-party and have an opinion, but to be offended or get angry when the advice given isn’t taken well baffles me, especially when said advice isn’t asked for or sought out.  I know as humans we make judgments, but to expect fellow sentient beings to just gladly take whatever observations are offered is naïve.  Sometimes remember to expect that people might not take kindly to well-intended advice.  The person might not be ready to accept the “truth”, there might be things as an outside observer is not aware of, sometimes people just don’t want advice.  I think it is always good to be thoughtful when giving advice, and to remember that the hand you “feed” could bite back.  So I try to think about that old expression, and stop to ask myself, am I ready to throw that stone, is my house is made of strong enough glass, should I really risk it?

K

Now Hear This

I recently got hearing aids.  Yes, while in my 30’s I have been diagnosed with a hearing loss and now must wear hearing aids as a result of irreversible nerve damage.  It was a creeping problem for the most part.  I had to set the volume higher, ask people to repeat, strain to try to keep up with conversations in certain situations, and now live with a constant ringing in my ears.  Apparently I was the last to admit to myself there was an issue.  I am glad I did something about it, because I was living in a state of stress and missing out on life in some respects.   Having had a few days to adjust to the tiny buds in my ears, I am now aware of new sounds around me, and it certainly has made things interesting.  The hum of the a/c, the copier rolling to life, the click clack of shoes on the hardwood floor, yes, those sounds seem like nothing, but for the first time in a long time I really notice them.   I am not straining as much in conversations, and I am enjoying that I don’t focus on the ringing in my ears as much.  It wasn’t a huge change in my life, but one that I think will be positive and beneficial in the long run.

K

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